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Feb. 16th, 2007 @ 10:46 am
Hello again.

Feb. 7th, 2007 @ 08:48 pm

Coiffing fits Feb. 7th, 2007 @ 03:15 pm

I suspect that soon I will get my hair cut very short again. I seem to be in that state of mind. Sometimes I think it's a way of doing violence to myself without actual damage, like a substitute activity for the amputation of an unwanted limb.

Bad days Feb. 5th, 2007 @ 11:10 pm
15 December
18 December
9 January
16 January
23 January
5 February
14 February
17 March
9 April
27 April

All the worst bits of my life seem to clump up around this time of year. (I guess April is actually a moderately long way off, still, but those days were particularly bad, and I'm dreading the anniversaries of them.) It's cold, it's dark, and people are eternally disappointing. I spent most of this morning in an utterly wretched state, remembering things I wish I could forget.

The afternoon was better, and I did some surprisingly successful experiments in photo-etching. Talking to people in the class about various things they're working on also cheered me up a bit. It's somehow both flattering and depressing to discover that certain parties are so impressed or annoyed by the things I'm doing that they decide I should have my hand cut off and replaced by a hook or clamp, as a sort of handicap. Heh. I think it says a lot about my past couple of years that an afternoon full of threats of dismemberment is a great improvement.

It occurs to me that it would probably be a useful exercise to try and make note of any particularly good days I have, so that I can remember those, instead of endlessly re-living the bad ones. Good days from the past are useless for this purpose, because too many of them revolved around people who were later responsible for the bad days, but if I start now, maybe I can accumulate a few.

Here is a photo-etch testCollapse )

Fashion instruction Feb. 1st, 2007 @ 09:23 pm
CAUTION goggles

Ad nauseum Jan. 30th, 2007 @ 02:41 am
There are the days when I'm too miserable and apathetic to want to type anything, and then there are the days when I've been going nonstop for sixteen hours and I'm too exhausted and starving to want to type anything. Today was of the latter variety, and I did a lot of stuff and made some decent progress on a linoleum cut and a piece of sculpture homework. But whichever way it works out, the result is that I don't have a damned thing to say.

Maybe I'm done keeping a journal for a while. I started posting things online because of Jeremy, and then continued because I found it useful in various ways. For a while, I think it made my life more interesting, because I felt a certain obligation to go out and do stuff that would be worth writing about. But school just keeps on being school, and I don't do anything interesting, and I'm sick of the endless repetitions of how tired and frustrated and hungry I always am. I still have nightmares about Jeremy, whether I'm writing them down or not, so it doesn't particularly seem to be any good as therapy.

On the other hand, I've had these sorts of slumps before, where nothing seemed worth remembering or talking about, and where I just wanted to go into hiding. Maybe eventually I'll do something interesting again, and want to post about it.

In the meantime, I will mentally fill in all my future days with ditto marks.




Erwin Wurm and various gallery notes Jan. 27th, 2007 @ 03:05 am
In the last two weeks I've gone to four different galleries, which is probably more than I've been to in the whole previous year. I'm kind of overwhelmed by the sheer saturation of it right now, and I haven't been keeping up with typing journal entries because I've been too tired and depressed. Also, I suspect I'm embarrassed to write reviews or even just reactions, because they will inevitably turn out to be art-sniveling, and I'm not yet comfortable thinking of myself as a person who's capable of producing that stuff.

But I am that kind of person, no matter how much my damned family and so-called friends will make fun of me for it. And I'm going to need to have something to refer back to, later in the semester when I have to write papers and things. So I'm going to try to at least do brief summaries of the things I've seen so far.

Notes poorly and hastily writtenCollapse )

I ended up liking the Wurm exhibit enough that it cheered me up even though I was tired and grouchy and starving. Maybe in the next week I'll get my routine settled enough that I can be less tired, and therefore less grouchy. We shall see.
State of Mind: artisticoverdosed on art

It's a picture of a...? Jan. 25th, 2007 @ 06:43 pm
An insanely addictive time-waster: Google Image Labeler. There goes the rest of my afternoon.

Sore feet and plaster Jan. 25th, 2007 @ 01:21 am
All over town today: up Capitol Hill and down again, to school, a two-hour time-killing circuit of downtown, back to school, another hour and a half in the sculpture lab, and finally home. I spent an awfully long time painstakingly removing clay from a plaster casting, and about halfway through I realized it wasn't even mine. It seemed like it might be bad to leave it half-done, so I finished it and then did my own. On mine the clay came off easily, in almost a single slab. Tomorrow I'll have to ask the teacher why the one was easy to remove and the other was impossibly difficult.

Bottles and lumpsCollapse )

Presumably tomorrow we're also going to be removing the plastic bottles from around the plaster they're filled with. It will be interesting to see how that works out.

In the course of my travels today, I wandered into a store selling fly-fishing equipment. It turns out that such places have wire in a glorious array of colors. I bought a small spool of brilliant chartreuse, and have plans to do some small fiddly things with it.

My feet are astoundingly tired. I think I probably walked about eight miles today.
State of Mind: exhaustedexhausted

Art, bottles, fish, and beads Jan. 20th, 2007 @ 02:13 am
My Contemporary Art History class is evidently going to involve visiting a lot of galleries. That could be interesting, and if nothing else, walking around town is generally nicer than sitting in a classroom looking at slides and failing to stay awake. Today we went to one of the many galleries in Pioneer Square. From there it was convenient to continue on to Uwajimaya and get some bottles for use in my sculpture assignment. I got some fish too, while I was at it, and made spicy tuna rolls.

Some of my beads came today, too. Now I have yellow jade for Venus, azurite-malachite for Earth, and some kind of jasper (leopard, I think) for Mars. This silly bead project has turned into kind of an ongoing expensive obsession. I really would like to make the solar system necklace work, though, because I think I can do a better version of it than some of the other ones I've seen. Admittedly, those others did include a few that were meant to be fun projects for gradeschool students to work on, but still.

I still need to find the right kind of small tumbled hematite chips, for use in the asteroid belt, and something small for Pluto. Poor no-longer-a-real-planet Pluto.
State of Mind: obsessed with BEADS
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